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Having A bad day at work?

This taken from a Ft. Wayne Indiana radio station sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work,
so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s
not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must first bore you with a
few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wetsuit. This time of
year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan,
and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get
to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the
back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.

It’s like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a
sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This
only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I
pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I
realized what had happened. The hot water ! machine had sucked up a
jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair
on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However, the crack of my
butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of
my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to
the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to
make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five
minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but
my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.

So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat
to yourself, “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.”

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Filed under: Comedy

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